I met CrazyMan on the Jubilee Line in London during one of my early attempts to recruit citizens. As I discovered, recruiting citizens isn’t easy, particularly when all you have to prove that you have your own country is a yellow flyer, a diplomatic smile and a parka. After many failures I was beginning to feel a bit low and then, from nowhere, appeared CrazyMan.

Although I had never met him before he seemed as keen as mustard to become one of my very first citizens and spread the word. His enthusiasm was infectious and inspired me to carry on. Only trouble is, although he seemed very keen to join my country he still hasn’t got in touch...

CrazyMan, wherever you are, my country needs you to head up the Ministry of Morale and Happiness.