Starting a country is a bit like having a house party – it is only polite to let your neighbours know what you are up to. As Britain is my nearest neighbour I thought I should write a quick letter to Tony to let him know my plans in case he had any comments or suggestions. Rumour has it he might be looking for another country to run soon.

Anyway, I have only ever declared independence once before and that was when I left home 10 years ago, and to be honest declaring the independence of an entire nation isn't quite the same thing.

Writing the letter was the easy bit. Delivering it took a bit more thought. I didn't really want to entrust such an important document to the Post Office and it soon became clear that the only option was to deliver it in person. I decided to call Alec who owns the DUKW that I had commandeered during my invasion of Eel Pie Island and asked him to meet me in London. Alec was really looking forward to bringing the DUKW to town, and helping me with what would become a defining moment in my nation's history – in America they are always talking about their Independence Day, they've even got a holiday dedicated to it.

For such a prestigious day, our arrival at Downing Street was greeted with surprisingly little pomp and ceremony. There were a few raised eyebrows from the local constabulary who clearly thought they had seen the last of me and my DUKW when they forced me to retreat from Eel Pie Island. But I was confident that everything was going to be okay, particularly as I had managed to get the British army on side. In the world of nation-building, might makes right, but maybe I had a little too much might on my side as Tony didn't even seem to want to answer the door. It was only later that I discovered Tony actually lives at Number 11 Downing Street - Gordon lives at Number 10. On the basis of current thinking though this might actually prove to be a diplomatic masterstroke!

So that was it. Job done. I returned home and waited for Tony to call...I'm still waiting so presumably everything is okay.