It is with a huge smile that I bring you spectacular news! News which I hope will excite you as much as it does me. Yesterday afternoon, in a proud and confident voice, I announced to the world's media (including the Hackney Gazette) that I, Danny Wallace, have started my own
country.
I am, as you can imagine, deeply excited about joining the likes of you as a world leader - much as I imagine you were the day you got Britain. Mine will be a fine and noble country, much like yours in many ways, but with less of the nonsense and squabbles.
Thing is, I've had to start the country in my flat in Bow. I realize that this could be seen as controversial, but it's only the size of a squash court, and it's not like you'll miss it. I mean, you've never even been here. So I'm afraid that what has started as a polite letter of introduction must now be seen as my DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
So here we go: I, Danny Wallace, of the address and new country stated above, do hereby declare myself leader of a brand new country, landlocked by Britain, ruled by itself, slave to none other. Phew. There. Said it.
Please do get in touch if there are any legal ramifications to what I'm doing, or if you have any problems with it whatsoever. If you don't ring, I'll just assume everything's a-okay and proceed as planned. Cheers Tony! I'm well up for being allies, by the way!
King Danny (the first)
PS. Can you let the Queen know if you bump into her? I've run out of stamps.
www.citizensrequired.com