Inspired by the noblest ideals, developed by humankind in its inexorable rise to the highest forms of civilisation;
Conscious of the compelling need to make of such ideals a tangible reality in which the happiness of the individual and the happiness of all form an indivisible whole;
Mindful that there must also be loads of other things I haven’t thought of yet as well… I, Danny, man and King, with the unqualified support of a proud and noble people, do hereby adopt this Constitution for our as-yet-unnamed Kingdom.

Oh yes.

The dawning of a new age of Chivalry shall commence with the signing of this Constitution.
Each schoolday shall begin with the raising of the flag and the Junior Pledge of Allegiance: ‘Doors will be opened, smiles will be offered, hats will be doffed, and pints will be proffered’.
Friday shall be a Day of Rest, as shall Saturday, and Sunday, and much of Monday morning.
We must remember always to have Law and Order, even when we’re testy.

Duties of the Citizen
It is a Citizen’s duty always to look on the bright side, to keep all chins up, to bring squabbling to a minimum, and always to pick up after themselves. We are a peaceable people, and Frowning shall be Frowned Upon.
All Citizens shall be required to indicate irreversible commitment to the State, either by signing the Book of the Constitution or by swearing allegiance to King and Country in an official Citizenship Ceremony.
Every Citizen will be an Ambassador for the country and observe the highest standards of personal integrity consistent with respect for diplomatic protocols.
Dual Citizenship will not be tolerated and is seen as a crime against Humanity and against the King.
War is really bad, and those attempting to start one risk a heavy fine. When War seems unavoidable a popular referendum shall be conducted, just like those ones they do in Switzerland or wherever.

The Role of His Majesty the King
The King will always want the very best for his Citizens.
The King shall consult regularly with Boffins and Eggheads on matters of State.
In line with our commitment to Modernity; the King will conduct his affairs principally by Electronic means.
The King shall in the first instance appoint the four principal Ministers of State, taking due account of their particular gifts, experience and qualifications for office; Minister of Defence, Minister of Finance, Minister of Foreign Affairs, and Minister of Home Affairs. The King shall retain for the present all other powers.
From time to time, the King may outsource some minor affairs of State to neighbouring powers (eg. Tower Hamlets Local Authority [gas, electricity, etc], Patel Brothers Groceries and Off Licence Ltd. [newspapers, milk, miscellaneous stationery and so on]).
Taxation may be necessary, but don’t worry about it too much. Leave it with me.
The King will promulgate more Laws in due course.

Bill of Rights
Human rights are guaranteed in full.
The right to bare arms shall be sacrosanct – especially in the summer.
The right to vote shall be enjoyed from the age of sixteen – or fifteen for boffins.
The people shall enjoy the irrevocable right of revolt, but shall also remember that 28 days written notice is required in all cases, in the interests of politeness, which is important.

Bill of Wrongs
All crime immediately made illegal. No exceptions.
No attainder treason shall work corruption of blood or forfeiture except during the life of the person attained.
No running in corridors while carrying sharp objects, or even just for fun.

This constitution enshrines the wisdom of centuries, but is open to amendment where this is deemed by the popular will to be desirable.

None of the above should be taken to imply any restriction on the King’s power to conduct affairs solely in the light of his own incontrovertible wisdom.

Ratified on 1st January 2005 in the year D.D. (During Danny) 1, which is henceforth declared a National Holiday, as is the Birthday of the King, the King’s mum’s Birthday, and the anniversary of various other important events as and when they arise.

Given legal force by this seal: