Creating an Immigration Policy is a tricky business…in fact it is so tricky my old country and nearest neighbour Britain doesn’t really have one. To be honest immigration in the U.K seems to be a bit like getting into a nightclub - if you’re wearing the right shoes and smart trousers you’re in, if you’re wearing trainers and a parka then chances are you’re out! This all seems a little bit too random for my new country.

No I need a nice and simple policy that is easy to administer and frankly I can’t afford to be too fussy. Take America, it was founded on immigration. In fact between 1860 and 1924 they only turned away 1% of those that wanted to enter the country and that’s because they thought they were mad. Look at them now, with over 295 million citizens and the ability to blow up the world twice over…that’s real progress.

So on the basis that I want to create the biggest little country in the world I am throwing open my doors to anyone and everyone. I want old people and young people, I want the rich and the poor, I want the hordes, I want the masses, I even want the French! If you are feeling a bit fed up with your country then I want you! Together we are going to make a great new country, a country so big that one day we might also be able to blow stuff up! So as your King I pronounce that:

All Are Welcome, None May Leave!